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Kids resilience and what we can learn from them

Dec 16, 2018 | Inspirations

Kids resilience and what we can learn from them

 

 

I’m truly amazed at my 4year old’s resilience towards the recent passing we’ve had in our family. My dear brother lost his life during an accident with his motorcycle. It has been a traumatic experience for everyone involved since it happened so sudden. No preparation what so ever and I struggled a lot with his sudden passing. Cried till I had no tears left and felt like a part of me was missing.

What I’ve noticed with my little one is that she’s able, as young as she is, to understand the situation. We explain to her that he is now other family members that passed away.

The difference between her and us as adults is that she does not attach herself to sadness, trauma, drama…… she might have a moment of true sadness and tells me that she’s sorry that my brother has passed away. Accompanied with a hug and kiss on my forehead. And that’s it. She goes back to whatever she was doing….. and I’ve realized that we as adults hold on much too long to sadness, previous painful situations that we did not deal with in the first place.

 

 

Let it go

 

What if we would be able to go through trauma and pain like my little one. Sensing the emotion and letting it go that easily. The first thoughts that come up in my mind is ‘that’s not possible’ and ‘If you would do that, it might seem to others that you didn’t care in the first place’. Going through grief is like childbirth. We think we need to do this is a certain way because we’ve been taught that this is the way to do it. In some cultures, it’s still common to wear black for 40 days. No parties and restrain yourself from all lovely activity’s that make you feel alive.

The question is, is this the way we want to go through grief? Or could we honor our loved ones that passed away by living and being grateful they have been in our lives?

Since I realized it could be this simple I’ve changed a lot. Honoring my brother by living my life to the max, by fully living and being present wherever I go. By letting go of many expectations towards myself and others, by taking better care of myself and my family, by giving my time and energy to those I love and spend less time on things and people that matter less to me.

It has made life easier and for that I’m grateful

 

Emotions are energy and not made to ~stick~ within us

 

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